وعزتي وجلالي لأغفرن لهم ماداموا يستغفرونني

By My Honor and Glory, I will forgive them as long as they keep repenting..

Her cheeks were worn and sunken and her skin hugged her bones. That didn't stop her though, you could never catch her not reciting Qur'an. Always vigil in her personal prayer room Dad had set up for her. Bowing, prostrating, raising her hands in prayer. That was the way she was from dawn to sunset and back again, boredom was for others.

As for me I craved nothing more than fashion magazines and novels. I treated myself all the time to videos until those trips to the rental place became my trademark. As they say, when something becomes habit people tend to distinguish you by it. I was negligent in my responsibilities and laziness characterized my Salah.

One night, I turned the video off after a marathon three hours of watching. The adhan softly rose in that quiet night. I slipped peacefully into my blanket.

Her voice carried from her prayer room. "Yes? Would you like anything Noorah?" I said.

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تكون السفن آمنة عندما تكون راسية على الموانئ، ولكن السفن لم تصنع لهذا

تكون السفن آمنة عندما تكون راسية على الموانئ، ولكن السفن لم تصنع لهذا

A ship in a harbour is safe, but that's what ships are built for.

قالت هيت لك.. قال معاذ الله ...قالت هيت لك.. قال معاذ الله

I know its much more easy to say than doing, but they say in urdu:

...گناہ کا نقصان جب یاد آئے گا تکلیف ہو گی ... نیکی کا فائدہ جب یاد آئے گا خوشی ہو گی

Which means, whenever you're reminded of the loss due to a sin, you'll feel hurt, and whenever you remember the benefit of a good deed, you'll feel happier. And that is so true. Because to do a good deed, its not easy, its difficult. Yep, I'm going to just say the way it is. But the moment you've taken that difficult to gulp morsel of stopping yourself from that sin, or from doing that good deed, you will start feeling the happiness of it. And of course, it appears far more tempting to indulge in a sin, but as soon as its done, its sadness, and its pain begins, and stays as long as you remember that sin.

So now is the time to choose. Choose yourself if you want to be happy or hopeless.

The Prophet ﷺ says in one of the narrations, talking about the signs of the people who are sincere with Allah and have Ikhlaas and says:

واذا غابوا لم يفتقدوا...

Subhan Allah, this is so beautiful! These are the people, when they are gone, they are not missed (by others). Sometimes we think if can display the best of our self and our qualities they may remember us for a longer time, which on the face of it seems, completely fine.

What would it take for you to decide: I want to be the most invisible person in my circle. I don't want anyone to praise how my salah is, or how my akhlaq are or how much Qur'an do I recite everyday?

Does that sound a bit harsh? or difficult? No one remembering you because of your good qualities? Well.. that's where *ikhlaas* enters our life. This can only happen when you're doing things ONLY for the sake of Allah (سبحانه و تعالی).

By the way people loving you and feeling attached towards you in spite of you trying to hide your deeds from people and making them only for Allah, is also a gift of Allah. So if people love you, don't think "Oh all my deeds are just wiped away because people love me." No. That is also not true. I think this hadith actually talks about setting ones own intentions right. Because the love of a people is a big ne3mah of Allah (سبحانه و تعالی) as long as its not the reason why I am doing everything.

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