Brothers-only!

This website talks about Muslim brothers.That should be the most obvious question that comes to a reader's mind: Why do you say this is only for brothers? Let me explain..

I really never had an intention of making a website that attracts lots of readers, and gets famous. And I hope inshaAllah this intention never comes to my heart. The intention for this website is just writing the things I am experiencing as a Muslim who's walking through the challenges of life that almost all of us face as a father, a husband, a son or a professional making efforts to earn Halal. Whatever I learn, I try to write that down somewhere. Its not easy to remember everything you learn everyday. Obviously, we all learn some lessons everyday, and we really don't can't remember all of them unless we make a record and write them down and then go through them later on.

This website is no different than just a diary, or a record of what I experienced in my life by meeting people, going out in the path of Allah and seeing the situation of the Ummah, meeting people from different backgrounds etc. Most of the posts on this blog are excerpts from lectures of scholars. So whatever I learn is clearly from a man's perspective. A sister wouldn't really feel the need of learning on how to be a good father, or a husband? The point is just an attempt to share whatever I learnt out of the hope that it could help someone else as well. That's the first reason.

The second reason is that when I address the reader in my posts, I essentially address myself. And I myself am a man, so inevitably the whole website is addressed to brothers. If I say that a brother shouldn't make a haram relationship with another muslim sister because he should respect her, this should inevitably mean that a sister too shouldn't make the relationship with a brother and should respect his emaan too. But since that won't be mentioned in my website anywhere (from their perspective) there is a chance of some of the sisters ending up in thinking that they are all innocent and its the men which are the filth of the world. That would be wrong. So to be on the safe side, I would encourage them to not read these posts.

Third reason is I am not in a position to speak on behalf of the sisters because I am not one. They should be getting advise from sisters. So as far as this site is concerned, it only talks about brother's issues.

Another reason is that there are literally thousands of websites that are dedicated to and run by sisters. You know things like how to be the best wife or how to be a good muslimah etc. And I really kept Googling one day for a good amount of time and really never found any site that just talks ONLY ABOUT BROTHERS. So its kind of like a 'common room' for brothers. I feel every brother has a story in himself. But in our society, it generally remains an unheard and untold story. There are times when you've been living with a brother for a year or two, yet you really don't know who he is. Because men just don't tell. So if a brother doesn't share his own views, at least he can find a story similar to his and feel a bit better.

The last and the most important reason is this: If there is a post on this site on what I learnt about being a good Muslim husband, it might be beneficial for a brother, but if a sister reads it, she's immediately going to compare with the things her husband "doesn't have." And I am not saying its a women-specific thing. Its just how humans are. I mean I see a brother sitting in front of his laptop reading 60 ways being an ideal wife?? Imagine..? A brother is reading how to be an ideal wife?? The only thing he is learning from those 60 ways is (in my humble opinion) the 60 ways his wife is NOT a good Muslim wife (even if she IS! Remember!).  The same applies for women. If I write somewhere that a good Muslim husband is someone who never finds fault in whatever his wife cooks for him, or appreciates her cooking, or helps her in the kitchen, the only thing she will learn from this is how occasional her husband is in this particular regard. Therefore I really advise all the sisters to please specially don't read all those topics that that talk about being a good Muslim brother. Same goes for brothers, they too shouldn't really be reading how it is to be a good Muslimah. This to me is something very important and something sisters should keep in mind while reading this blog.

Jazakallahu Khair,

2 comments

  1. h.haroon
  2. Sidra

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