Better half or bitter half?

Oct
2012
15

The fundamental and core component of a healthy society is a home. We cannot talk about 'dawah,' we cannot talk about establishing a harmonious Islamic society until we have harmony inside the household. But our households are the places of chaos. How can we talk about higher ideals in 'dawah' when our homes are broken. Husband and wife are arguing every single day. There is 'sarcasm' inside the house. Nasty commentary towards each other.

"You know you're really not that pretty??" "Oh you're no Yusuf Aleh Salaam yourself.. you don't see me cutting my hands??"

Absolutely unnecessary sarcasm. Hurtful commentary towards each other?

And you know.. a lot of times you know exactly whats going to annoy your wife.. and you do it anyway!? And a lot of times the women they know exactly whats going to ache him right in the heart.. But they'll say it anyway.. just to see what happens..

right..?

If you just give it a thought once before saying something to her, you'll be ending up telling yourself, "I already knew this would cause a dispute.."

And who's watching all of this? While you're doing this to each other.. who's watching this? These word games you're playing with each other and this battle inside the house who's watching, who's the real victim? The children! The children are learning this behavior. What kind of a husband/wife or parents are they going to be when they grow up? There is absolutely no sense of forgiveness inside the marriage.

For example the Muslim men, lots of you who work in the public sphere or in corporate or whatever else.. Most, if not all of those working at offices obviously do have female co-workers. You go to work and you have some female co-worker there horribly dressed smiling at you, "How's it going Abdul how's your day..?" And you're like, "it was pretty good.. yea yea.. it was fine.." (with smile of course?) And you can have a 5 minutes conversation with a co-worker. And then you come home and you're wife says, "how was your day.?" -- Mostly guys would say, "I don't wanna talk about it I had a long day at work?"

This is what we're doing inside our home. And we're ruining our own relationship with our spouses.

I mean let me ask you guys.. I am not in a position to speak on the behalf of sisters because I'm not one. They should be getting advise from a sister, but let me get on your case for a minute: When was the last time you got her a gift man? When you took her to some bazar and she picks something up, or wants to see a dress that she likes and you're immediately like "No! No! No! put that back! put that back!" When was the last time you got her something? Spent WITHOUT her asking.. When was the last time you hung out with her? Just took her out for some ice cream for no reason? They don't ask for much, they also just ask for your time. Wallahi there are sisters who're complaining and I couldn't believe my ears. .they complain that they haven't seen their husbands for a long time because when they come home, they sit on the computer and just YouTube away the whole night? GET OFF THE COMPUTER MAN!! You have a wife, you have children to deal with. That's your priority.

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  1. Ray of light

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